The Road to Chiang Rai

I wondered what time it was. I wondered despite the fact that I knew it was six thirty-four. I knew it was six thirty-four because it had been six thirty-four when I checked my watch three seconds before. "I should probably double check," I thought, lifting my wrist up to face. "Yep, still six thirty-four. Now, how many stops till Bang Sue?" Again, I knew it was another four stops on the metro but I thought I'd count another time, just in case any extra stations had been spontaneously constructed in the last thirty seconds.

I was a bit stressed. I wasn't sure why but I was worried about missing my overnight bus from Bangkok to Chiang Rai. I had plenty of time. I was going to be an hour early. Forty-five minutes early was the worst-case scenario and that was as likely as there being an extra stop being added to the metro mid-journey.

I had had a quick shower at the hostel before leaving and had had some noodles at a nearby restaurant for an early dinner. "How spicy you want?" The chef had asked. "Medium spicy" was my reply. I could handle spice. I didn't want some watered-down, tourist-menu Pad Khee Mao. I wanted the real thing. I wanted what the locals had. Though I failed to consider that locals probably don't have supercharged chilli noodles in the hours before a ten hour bus ride.

The noodles sat comfortably in my stomach as I sat uncomfortably on the metro, bags by my side, amongst Bangkokians heading home after a day's work. Eventually we arrived at Bang Sue station. Almost there. I'd just need to catch a local bus one stop from the metro station to get to the main bus station. I waited for what felt like an eternity but was closer to twenty seconds. The bus arrived very quickly by developing country standards but not by mine.

"Mo Chit?" The bus driver asked. I felt relieved that he knew where I was going better than I did. I got on and soon arrived at the bus station. I found my platform and waited for a while - I was very early - and soon got on the overnight bus.

I was surprised that I was the only foreigner on the bus. I thought there'd be at least one but it was just me. I had paid extra for a nicer bus and so I my seat was both an aisle and window seat. After some snacks were provided, we settled in and I began reclining my chair. I knew it wasn't going to be flat but was still surprised by how close to flat the chair got. Lying back, almost-flat I got comfortable and began to fall asleep.

The lights came on. It was two in the morning. We were slowing down. We were pulling off the highway. We pulled into a rest stop built specifically for the bus company and, along with ten other busloads of people travelling all over Thailand, I soon learned it was meal time. Since the ticket cost the same during the day as it did at night, and during the day you got lunch, we were afforded some nighttime lunch. Why did we need this meal? No one seemed to know. But did it stop me from shovelling a bowl of soup down my throat like a man who'd never seen food? Not in the slightest. I ate quickly and with great fury. All the overhead announcements had been in Thai so I had no idea how long it would be till the bus would leave and I didn't what our stern stewardess yelling, looking for the confused white boy. I finished my soup and returned to the bus promptly.

Soon we were back on the road and again I was asleep. I slept relatively well and woke soon after five in the morning. I was quite proud of myself for sleeping so well. Only another ninety minutes was left of the entire journey. "And best of all," I thought, "I haven't had to use the bus toilet once." That was a bad thing to think. Suddenly the chilli noodles of the night before seemed to activate in my stomach. I can wait. No I can't. Yes I can. No I can't. Thoughts rushed through my mind like the gastric juices that were rushing in other places.

Eventually I did have to use the bus toilet a number of times in the remaining hour and a half on the bus. I discovered that the bathroom facilities were not to the first class standard that the seats were. However I almost did have to lie flat at one point.